address me as your magesty

reppin'. this song is so dope. get it girl.

a job with a view.

These pics were taken at work, hence all the random pieces of art (I work in a gallery), the piece behind me is actually one of my favorites in the gallery. It's by Abdon Loebs, a local artist. Lately it's been extremely slow at work, like...maybe 5 people coming in the entire day. So, needless to say, I had some time on my hands and took a couple snaps of what I was wearing.

This was a "blaarrrhhh, I don't want to be alliiiivvveeee" sort of morning. I dragged myself out of bed 20 minutes before I had to leave and threw on whatever looked clean(ish) and scooted out the door. These grey wool socks have become a part of me, I wear them so much. Their just soooo warm.

{hat:no idea :: cardigan:F21 :: dress:marshals? :: tights:burlington :: socks:H&M :: boots:Savvy}

In other news: it's supposed to snow for the next 10 days or so...so expect to see a lot of jeans and boots sort of outfits round these parts. Oh, the glories of living in Tahoe.

peace, skillets.

ferrit face

This outfit is from forever ago...I've had these jeans since like 2008 and have only recently developed the courage to wear them. They fit like buttah and the red is just so much fun. 

 {jeans:Styles :: tank:Ross :: cardigan:F21 :: shoes:Ross}

 This little gentleman is my roommates ferrit, Amadeus. He's pretty much awesome. I've met a couple ferrits in my time and Amadeus is by far the best natured little critter I've ever encountered. His little personality and cute antics make him so much fun to have around. He was out playing around the living room when I was taking these and decided to get in on the action! He doesn't really do the whole "holding still" thing, so he's pretty much just a fuzzy blur or film. But he is a cute fuzzy blur.

We are communicating our deepest, most meaningful thoughts in this next picture.

And a closeup of the little fellow, looking adorable on my awesome, lime green lounge chair.

remember to feel real.

Somewhere around the middle of finals week, all my motivation died on the table. I just havn't felt the desire to do ANYTHING since the last day of midterms and, thus, have been doing a whole lot of nothing over the last week or so. My brain feels like a lump of mush in my dome. I'm slowly making a recovery; cracking open my planner to examine all the stuff I've been ignoring, catching up on the Rosetta Stone Swedish program I'm using, finishing books that have been laying open, face down on various tables around the house, doing the massive pile of dishes that has been stacking up in the kitchen, trying to get all the paperwork for my trip in order... My room is still a disaster area, but I'm working up momentum before I try to tackle that horrorfest.

So, other than working, going home, watching movies, researching Sweden and staring blankly at my ceiling, my life hasn't been too exciting. I did go to two shows in the last week or so, though. My friends, Kyle, Beth, Joel, Brian, and Jared are in a band called Ugly Little Children and they played a benefit concert for Haiti last Friday which was a BLAST. Then there was the performance for their music class, Rock Ensemble, and the after party. Very good times, indeed. I hadn't been out in a while, so going out and seeing all my friends and listening to some amazing music was something I really needed. I need to avoid becoming too much of a hermit, I have a tendency to insulate myself to the world when I spend too much time by myself.

In other news: we have our little, Charlie Brown Christmas tree up and it looks pretty dang adorable, if I do say so myself. I still have a ton of Christmas shopping to do though, and being super broke is not helping the situation. Usually I try to get a little something for all my friends, but this year it's just not doable on my budget, so I'm restricting my gift-giving to my nearest and dearest. I think Ashley and I may make cookies or fudge for everyone else, so at least we can give them a little something to remind them we love them. 

My parents keep asking me what I want for Christmas, and while the rational part of me knows I need to ask them for "essential" type things; new prescription glasses, so I don't have to wear my contacts all the time, a bus pass...I couldn't help but do a little "window shopping" for myself while perusing the offerings at some of my favorite online stores. I swear, it started as a gift search for my list, and ended like this...

{Panasonic AV Room Headphones in White :: $62 :: Urban Outfitters}

these would be amazing while skiing, keep mah ears all nice and toasty and prevent creepers from trying to chat me up on the lift.

{Press Darling Jacket :: $79.99 :: Modcloth}

do I really need a reason? it's got GOLD TRIM...and epaulets. 

{Bonny Stargazer Dress :: $156.99 :: Modcloth}

i am seriously lacking a long-sleeved dress, and this one is just so freaking cute.

{Rosette Quilt :: $248 :: Anthropologie}

I have been obsessed with this comforter from Anthro for nearly 3 years. It's the perfect shade of grey and just looks so pretty and comfy.

{Flamenco Shower Curtain :: $118 :: Anthropologie}

our shower curtain is plain white plastic. boring as hell and a little bit depressing in our super-dark, wood paneled bathroom. this would brighten things up considerably. IT HAS RUFFLES!

{Adventurer Spyglass :: $49 :: Aevalillithjewelry on Etsy}

There are several varieties of this necklace on Etsy, but I like the tarnished look of this one best.

Other things I need but am too lazy to look up pictures for:

A dressform.

Tights/leggings in various colors and styles.

A cozy grampa sweater.

A bus tickit to San Fran.

For it to DUMP snow for the next week or so. It's all melting because the weather has been so warm the last few days. Theres grass visible in most parts of town. UNACCEPTABLE!!

Hope everyone is getting into the Christmas Spirit out there. Remember, only12 days left till Christmas! Ack!

Thankful...

This year has not been an easy one. I've been through a lot, emotionally, physically, mentally. I've experienced hardship and turmoil both in my own life as well as witnessing it in the lives of the people I love. I've been hurt, used, betrayed, lied to, and treated badly. On the flip side, I've had some amazing things happen to me this year too. I have lost and re-discovered myself in so many ways, loved, lost, laughed, and been witness to incredible beauty and kindness and, in honor of the recent holiday, i want to go over the things I am so extremely thankful for.

1) My relationships; new and old, both the ones that have ended as well as the ones that continue to bring laughter and joy into my life. I have learned so much from all of you over the years and feel incredibly blessed to have encountered so many minds and spirits that have truly startled me. The lessons you have taught me, the memories we've made...they mean the world to me. Thank you for being part of my life, for teaching and inspiring me every day.

2) My family; the last few years have been exceptionally hard on my family. With the loss of so many beautiful and amazing people, the current struggles and health issues of others, and the turmoil we've all faced, both individually as well as as a whole have worn all of us a little thin. I am so grateful that, in spite of this, we are still so close and supportive. Not many people have a family as large and close knit as mine and I do not, for one second, take for granted the immense blessing that that is.

3) My health; it's really easy to take for granted something so basic and essential to yourself as your body and it's health so I want to emphasize how grateful I am for mine. I suffer from insecurities and bad body image just like any other girl, but I've come to terms with my body and learned to love it for what it is rather than what it isn't. I am grateful to have a strong immune system that allows me to spend the majority of my time doing the things I love and not sick in bed. I am grateful for the legs that have walked and pushed myself and my skateboard all over town, the lungs that continue to draw in air and allow me to sing and laugh and speak my mind. I'm grateful for arms that are strong and capable of hugging the people I love, as well as hands that allow me to draw, paint, knit, sew, write, and create. I am grateful for a stomach that allows me to eat pretty much anything I want without adverse effects and without turning me into whale. I am grateful for a mind that allows me to experience incredible beauty and wonder, to dream, hope, conceptualize, reason and imagine.

4) My home; I have managed to find not only an amazing house in a beautiful neighborhood, but an even more amazing roommate. Having a living situation that is warm, welcoming, and supportive is so important to me and I am so so lucky to have all of those things and more. I am grateful to my amazing roommate/best friend for making such an environment a reality and being there for me, supporting, encouraging, laughing, and working with me to ensure that there is always food in the fridge, a light in the window, and a warm, safe place to come home to every night.

5) My indominatable parents, who have given me so many gifts and blessings over the course of my 22 years on this planet and continue to be huge inspirations and influences in my life. Thank you for all your help, concern, love and support. Thank you for your endless understanding and patience as I stumble clumsily through young-adulthood and trying to find my way in this crazy world. Thank you for your advice, your gentle guidance, your kind words and most of all for your love. I am so lucky to have parents that I not only respect and admire, but enjoy spending time with. Whoever said you couldn't be friends with your parents clearly never met mine.

6) All the opportunities I have been granted both this year and in the years to come. On top of working in an awesome environment, going to school for a subject I love, and moving closer every day to the woman I hope to become, I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel and live abroad for a year with an amazing family in Sweden. I am so grateful for where this year has brought me, in spite of all the negative and potentially detrimental things that have occurred. I have grown and learned so much and, while there are certainly things I wish I hadn't done and mistakes I wish I hadn't made, I am thankful to have learned those lessons and have the ability to move forward from them. My life may not be perfect, but it is the only one I have and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to live it on my terms, to make my own mistakes and learn from them, to experience both the good and bad in this world and embrace all the joy, beauty, and possibility that it has to offer. I am so excited for what is to come and know, without doubt, that I am an extraordinarily fortunate person.

To all those who have been involved with my life, for better or worse, whether we parted as friends or enemy's, I am thankful for the lessons you taught me, the memories we have made, the influence and inspiration you have brought into my life. I am a better person for knowing you, a stronger person for loving you, and a quieter soul for forgiving any perceived or actual transgressions. Thank you all for showing me what friendship, loyalty, love, forgiveness, honesty, heartache, beauty, trust, family, and most of all hope mean. Your presence in my life has made an impact, has shaped or changed me in some way. Thank you.

My hope for you all, this holiday season and in the year to come is that you find peace, joy, love, friendship and happiness. As the saying goes:

"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God (whatever you may call her) hold you in the palm of His hand."

An End to Autumn

In a matter of days, it's become winter. The snow's been falling steadily for three days now. Everything is covered in a foot and half of pristine white fluff that doesn't show any sign of abating. I can't remember the last time we had this much snow (or any snow for that matter) before thanksgiving. It makes me feel like a little kid. It's even a snow day! All I need is some hot cocoa with itty bitty marshmallows and I'm twelve years old again, curled up by the fire, watching the snow pile up.

Tomorrow afternoon we leave for Thanksgiving in the Bay with my moms entire family. Thanksgiving in this family isn't just a few blood relatives around a turkey, it's a 60 person banquet with two turkeys, my uncles AMAZING pineapple ham, eight or nine side dishes, five or six pies, and family, friends, pets, and general mayhem all crowded into my uncles massive living room. Subsequently, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. The food, the family, the fantastic energy that surrounds this amazing and diverse group of people who I am lucky enough to call Family. My roommate and best friend is tagging along this year, to experience the "magic", so to speak. She's never had a big family Thanksgiving, and over the years, she's heard so much about this event and the various characters that attend it, that she decided to come along and see for herself just how insane and wonderful my family is.

My favorite part of thanksgiving with my family isn't the food (though thats a big draw, too) but when, after we've all gorged ourselves on turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and we're all sitting around the tables smiling contentedly at each other, we go around and each member of the 60+ person assembly tells what he or she is thankful for. My cousins take bets on which aunt will cry first--it's always Aunt Dawn--and even the little kids get in on the action, explaining their gratitude for mommy and daddy and their new party dress. It's really an extraordinary thing to be a part of.

And no matter what, that is always the overwhelming theme of these gratitudes. Family, and the blessing we have all been given by being a part of this one. Over the years I have seen this family I am so fortunate belong to grow and change, I've seen an entire generation grow into adults, get married, start their own family's. I've witnessed the inclusion of unique and wonderful people, who may not share our blood, but certainly share the sense of love and understanding that has united us again and again underneath one roof. And they become family in this way, by sharing this wonderful tradition with us.

I am so lucky, in a world where the word "family" means less and less (my own parents are divorced), I am fortunate enough to belong to one that, in no uncertain terms, loves each other. People fly from all over the country to make thanksgiving with us and it's really amazing to see that. It gives me hope. It makes me feel as though, no matter what, I'm never alone, because I've got these amazing people loving me. Because I know that they'll always be there, supporting me, loving me, wishing me well. There are so many people in the world who don't have that, who have no one to turn to or fall back on when times are hard, and I am just so incredibly thankful to know what it's like to look around a crowded room and see four generations of family, friends new and old, and to know that we all come together every year to express something much larger than words can accurately communicate.

Needless to say, I'm excited.

Also, this video is interesting/inspiring.
Checkit.

INFLUENCERS FULL VERSION from R+I creative on Vimeo.

i feel your thumbs press into my skin again

Radical Face :: Welcome Home

i have a feeling this song will be on heavy rotation for a while. it's the perfect song for autumn. makes me a little wistful.