How To Be Alone

"Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay."

sometimes you stumble upon something that rings in your heart for hours and hours. 

i am happy. this solitude is blessed.

rose tinted glasses

So much has gone on in the last two weeks, I've hardly touched my computer, let alone my camera so theres my sad little excuse for no outfit photos. I've had such an awesome/hectic/crazy last couple of weeks that I don't even really know where to begin.

I suppose I can start with last week. My really good friends Chanelle and her boyfriend Trevor came home from Hawaii, where she attends school/lives. They were in town for almost a whole week and it was just general insanity while she was here. Lots of parties and beach time were squeezed in between my two jobs and other obligations. It was so good to see her and Trevor, it's been almost 8 months since the last time they were up and it's gonna be almost another year before they come home again =(. I've known Chanelle since high school, we had dance and drama together our freshman year and by our senior year we were cutting chorus to go drink too many frappaccinos and shop. She's the first person I ever drank with and when we both moved out of our parents house for the first time we managed to find an empty duplex and became neighbors. I miss having her around all the time, being able to wander over to her house in the morning for breakfast or for movie and pizza nights. Her boyfriend, Trevor, and her have been together for nearly five years and their the funniest/cutest couple in the world. I miss them both something fierce.

On top of Chanelle being here I was still working at the coffee shop during the day and the pub at night, meaning I'd work all day and come home to a house full of reveling drunk people every night. It was fun and definitely amazing to get to spend so much time with her, but by the end of it all I was so worn out. I've been trying to take it easy for the last week or so to recuperate from all that insanity.

Unfortunately/fortunately my time at the coffee shop has ended. It's good because now I'm able to really start working at my moms gallery and I'm not working such insane hours (7am to 10pm when both the pub and the coffee shop needed me) so my sleep pattern is recovering. Its sad because the honest truth is that I loved that job. I had the most amazing collection of coworkers and customers and I spent the majority of my shifts their laughing and joking around with my coworkers. I still go in as much as I can, both to visit and get my fix of coffee seeing as I'm now addicted to the stuff. Currently sipping on a big steaming (ok, it's kinda lukewarm now) cup of the house blend. Yuummmm.

how cute is this mug?? thrift stoooorrreeee! (excuse the lack of makeup, I'm still getting going)

Other exciting news: Ashley and I found a house!! Yayyyy! No more attic dwelling for me! I'm so excited about the place we found, it's only four blocks from the beach (!!!), two bedrooms, one bath, nice big living room, a mud room, HUGE upstairs room, cute little kitchen, lots of closet and storage space, a nice little fenced in yard and all for only $850 a month! It's a little retro (ok, a lot retro) but thats one of the things I love about it. It has character. I'm so excited to move in and get it all decorated. I've been having crazy awesome thrift store mojo the last couple of days. I've managed to find two awesome 70's lounge chairs, one in that funky green velvet fabric that everything from the 70s seems to come upholstered in, and another thats white leather. We still need a bunch of stuff for the house, a couch a TV (though neither of us wants cable), a dining room table...the list goes on. Ashley is bringing her piano, which makes me all sorts of happy. Maybe I'll actually be able to teach myself how to play now! I started to teach myself last quarter at the college using their pianos but I was only ever able to squeeze a couple of hours of practice in between classes so having one in my house will make it a lot easier. I'm a little sad to leave this house, I love my roommates and love my room here, but it's just not a realistic living situation for the winter (the attic gets reallyreally cold seeing as it's, well, an attic). It'll be nice to have my own space filled with my own things and to not constantly be around so many people--there are five of us living here, plus a friend whose crashing on our couch, plus whoever else is passing out here for the night (there are currently two such people snuggling on our sofa). We should be moving in by mid September, just in time for my 22nd birthday and school to start.

Life is so good right now. I'm in such a positive place and everything seems to just be falling into place. It's so nice, after how emotionally draining this last year was. I finally feel like I know where I'm going and that everything I'm doing right now is actually moving me towards that place. I'm so excited for what this year holds for me and where it's taking me. I have amazing friends, an awesome house, a great job, and just a generally upbeat attitude about everything right now. My life is just so beautiful right now!

I need to go put my face on now, get ready for work. Hope your finding your life looking as rosy as mine is. If you want you can borrow my glasses.

lovelove and happiness,

L.

Arcade Fire - Crown of Love - (6 of 10)

This song makes me happy in a sad kind of way. if that makes any sort of sense.

sweet darlin', come hold me

Friday was payday!! Hallelujah! I will say this about working two jobs; it may be exhausting but every two weeks I'm reminded why I do this to myself. I am officially rollin' in the skrilla! It's been really hard to not immediatly go out and blow it all on all the things I've been lusting after but I'm trying to be savvy and save.

So, instead of actually spending all my money. I'm just gonna post a list of all the stuff I would get if I had unlimited moolah.

1. My Tattoo: I've been thinking about it and designing it for the last two and a half years. I'm ready for it to get on my body.

2. An Iphone: I lost mine last year and I'm still mourning it. For someone as disorganized as me, a pocket sized computer/organizer is a godsend.

3. Skates: I just took up roller derby and not having a pair of my own skates is really making it hard to go to practices regularly. If I show up late or anything I  get stuck with skates a size too small or just no skates at all.

This outfits been on constant rotation ever since I found this skirt at the Attic. It's just too perfect for the summer. The fabric is light and breezy and has great movement. I love the pattern of tiny flowers all over it too. 

{skirt | the attic::$3}{shirt | ross}{shoes | sam edelmen}{belt | vintage}

I love these shoes. Like, really love them. I get so many compliments on them and their sooo comfy and go with just about anything. I've had them for about three years but, for some reason, I've only really been wearing them for about a year. I think they were a bit uncomfortable at first so they got pushed to the back of the closet until I finally stopped whining and broke them in. Now their my favorite flats and I'm so sad that their wearing out so fast. The little buckles on the outer side aren't even attached to the edge of the shoe any more. I will be very sad to see them go.

I have to go play on the lake now. My friend sam is busting his boat out so I'm gonna go spend several glorious hours cruising around the crystal waters of lake tahoe. Have a great day!

A Quiet Place, Full of Light

All and all this is a pretty basic, comfy outfit and I've been wearing variations on this theme pretty much all summer. I threw this on after I got home from work and had peeled off my dirty, coffee-smelling work clothes and took a long hot shower. Thats why my hair looks a little blah, it's still kind of damp. I took these shots out at one of the visitors centers along Emerald Bay Road, it's an area called Taylor Creek and it's got about a million little paths that crisscross through this beautiful marsh/meadow area. I only know about it because I stumbled upon it while walking my moms dog through the area. We had been wading through the river and found our way out on one of the little paved paths. It's so green and lush and peaceful, I wish I had had more time to spend there but as soon as the sun went behind the mountain the mosquitoes were out in force, so I got a couple shots and got out of there before I got eaten alive.

The day I found this skirt at the thrift store I had literally been sitting in my room, staring at my closet going "Man, I wish I had just a simple denim skirt" and, two hours later, there it was, waiting for me on the skirt rack at the Attic. I love it when that happens.

.

{skirt | thrifted::gap}{shirt | ross}{bracelets | UO and gift}

In other news; I only work one job this weekend so I might actually have some free time! I'm so worn out from pulling doubles and never having a day off. I've had one day in the last two weeks where I haven't had to go to either job and I spent the majority of that day sleeping. I feel like I'm missing the summer as it slowly fades towards autumn...but it's almost over. One more week of this nonsense and I'm done at the coffee shop (sad, but also a relief) and can start at the Gallery. It'll be nice to work somewhere where I'm not constantly covered in food/coffee. I can actually start wearing all the rad clothes I own! I will miss all my coworkers. In the brief time I've been there I've met some really wonderful and fun people. It'll be sad to not see them every day any more.

You are waiting for a train...

Went and saw Inception last night. O_o

Seriously. I just did that. That's how crazy that movie was. I can only express myself in weird emoti-cons. There are no words.

And it's not just an amazing movie because it's such a mind bender. It's a good movie--an extraordinary movie, really--on so many other levels. The cast, the set design, the dialog, the direction, the score...it's not just an amazing idea to think about, it's a gorgeous movie to look at, to hear, to experience on many levels. I can't get over it. The way it made me feel, made me think...I could go into all my theories about what the movie is, but, firstly, I don't want to spoil it for any one. And secondly, I don't know that I know how to articulate them yet. 

Either way, I highly recommend everyone to go see it. It was really just an awesome movie experience.

I can't explain what this song makes me feel. Maybe it was never this bad, but it was pretty terrible. Our relationship may have been fucked up but I did love him and it broke my heart--still breaks it--that we couldn't be better for each other.

"Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean

And we'd fall back into the same patterns, the same routines.

But you're tempers just as bad as mine is, your the same as me

When it comes to love, your blinded, baby please come back

it wasn't you, baby it was me. and maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems..."

but it was and i just couldn't do it any more.

I'm sorry...I don't usually get this personal on here, but this just struck something in me. It was too familiar and I needed to express that.

Oh, hello internet...sorry I havn't called.

Has it really already been a 2 months since my last post? Jeeze, I've been slacking...but I'm back! July has been so crazy for me. Since my last post I have gotten two--count 'em TWO--jobs. One was the job I had all winter hostessing at a local pub, they lay us off for the slow season, i.e. spring and fall. The other is at a local coffee shop as a barista. I love both my jobs and I love everyone I work with. The pub is fun because theres live music every night and i usually make great tips (once, a guy payed me $100 to run to the gas station down the street and buy him ciggarets!) and the coffee shop is just so different from what I'm used too. In the last two years I've never had a job where I didn't work nights, so getting up for a 6 or 7AM shift is brutal but also really nice. I love that I have so much of the day ahead of me. I get off by 2 or 3 and theres still enough daylight to go to the beach! I'm also in training to work with my Mom at her art gallery selling art. So, technically I have three jobs, but I only work at the gallery once a week. Hopefully, the gallery will eventually replace one or both of the other jobs so I can actually have a life.

So that's where I've been. Working, working, working. And on days I'm not working I'm at the beach or out hiking or riding my bike/longboard around town. It's so hard to stay cooped up in doors when the summer is so amazing here in Tahoe. I have a tan! If you know me at all you know how crazy this is because I'm usually Pasty McPasterson. I've also been looking at apartments as my best friend and I are planning on moving in together at the end of September (hopefully). I'm so excited to live with her! She's more like my sister than my friend, even our mothers call us their surrogate children. It'll be nice to live with a smaller population, too. my current roommate count is at five, with at least one or two people sleeping on our couches regularly. It's fun and the house we live in is huge so five people isn't really that big of a deal, but I live in the attic (someday I'll post pictures) and, well, honestly five people is still a lot of people, particularly if none of them are especially neat. Also, I'd like a room with real walls and a ceiling that's more than four feet high. 

{Trousers::Thrifted | Shirt::Gift | Necklace::Gift | Shoes::Urban Outfitters}

I hope everyones summer has been as glorious as mine has. I've been hiking, swimming, rafting, cliff jumping, concert going, camping, trip taking, and a million other things in between. So far it's been one of the best summers of my life and theres still so much of it left to enjoy! Go get out and enjoy the sun and sand, I know I have been!

the song stuck in my head: Ob-La-Di. Ob-La-Da by The Beatles

this song makes me happy and I wanted to share that with you.