Thankful...

This year has not been an easy one. I've been through a lot, emotionally, physically, mentally. I've experienced hardship and turmoil both in my own life as well as witnessing it in the lives of the people I love. I've been hurt, used, betrayed, lied to, and treated badly. On the flip side, I've had some amazing things happen to me this year too. I have lost and re-discovered myself in so many ways, loved, lost, laughed, and been witness to incredible beauty and kindness and, in honor of the recent holiday, i want to go over the things I am so extremely thankful for.

1) My relationships; new and old, both the ones that have ended as well as the ones that continue to bring laughter and joy into my life. I have learned so much from all of you over the years and feel incredibly blessed to have encountered so many minds and spirits that have truly startled me. The lessons you have taught me, the memories we've made...they mean the world to me. Thank you for being part of my life, for teaching and inspiring me every day.

2) My family; the last few years have been exceptionally hard on my family. With the loss of so many beautiful and amazing people, the current struggles and health issues of others, and the turmoil we've all faced, both individually as well as as a whole have worn all of us a little thin. I am so grateful that, in spite of this, we are still so close and supportive. Not many people have a family as large and close knit as mine and I do not, for one second, take for granted the immense blessing that that is.

3) My health; it's really easy to take for granted something so basic and essential to yourself as your body and it's health so I want to emphasize how grateful I am for mine. I suffer from insecurities and bad body image just like any other girl, but I've come to terms with my body and learned to love it for what it is rather than what it isn't. I am grateful to have a strong immune system that allows me to spend the majority of my time doing the things I love and not sick in bed. I am grateful for the legs that have walked and pushed myself and my skateboard all over town, the lungs that continue to draw in air and allow me to sing and laugh and speak my mind. I'm grateful for arms that are strong and capable of hugging the people I love, as well as hands that allow me to draw, paint, knit, sew, write, and create. I am grateful for a stomach that allows me to eat pretty much anything I want without adverse effects and without turning me into whale. I am grateful for a mind that allows me to experience incredible beauty and wonder, to dream, hope, conceptualize, reason and imagine.

4) My home; I have managed to find not only an amazing house in a beautiful neighborhood, but an even more amazing roommate. Having a living situation that is warm, welcoming, and supportive is so important to me and I am so so lucky to have all of those things and more. I am grateful to my amazing roommate/best friend for making such an environment a reality and being there for me, supporting, encouraging, laughing, and working with me to ensure that there is always food in the fridge, a light in the window, and a warm, safe place to come home to every night.

5) My indominatable parents, who have given me so many gifts and blessings over the course of my 22 years on this planet and continue to be huge inspirations and influences in my life. Thank you for all your help, concern, love and support. Thank you for your endless understanding and patience as I stumble clumsily through young-adulthood and trying to find my way in this crazy world. Thank you for your advice, your gentle guidance, your kind words and most of all for your love. I am so lucky to have parents that I not only respect and admire, but enjoy spending time with. Whoever said you couldn't be friends with your parents clearly never met mine.

6) All the opportunities I have been granted both this year and in the years to come. On top of working in an awesome environment, going to school for a subject I love, and moving closer every day to the woman I hope to become, I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel and live abroad for a year with an amazing family in Sweden. I am so grateful for where this year has brought me, in spite of all the negative and potentially detrimental things that have occurred. I have grown and learned so much and, while there are certainly things I wish I hadn't done and mistakes I wish I hadn't made, I am thankful to have learned those lessons and have the ability to move forward from them. My life may not be perfect, but it is the only one I have and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to live it on my terms, to make my own mistakes and learn from them, to experience both the good and bad in this world and embrace all the joy, beauty, and possibility that it has to offer. I am so excited for what is to come and know, without doubt, that I am an extraordinarily fortunate person.

To all those who have been involved with my life, for better or worse, whether we parted as friends or enemy's, I am thankful for the lessons you taught me, the memories we have made, the influence and inspiration you have brought into my life. I am a better person for knowing you, a stronger person for loving you, and a quieter soul for forgiving any perceived or actual transgressions. Thank you all for showing me what friendship, loyalty, love, forgiveness, honesty, heartache, beauty, trust, family, and most of all hope mean. Your presence in my life has made an impact, has shaped or changed me in some way. Thank you.

My hope for you all, this holiday season and in the year to come is that you find peace, joy, love, friendship and happiness. As the saying goes:

"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God (whatever you may call her) hold you in the palm of His hand."